There’s so much to do today and not enough time in the day to accomplish all of the things that need to get done. Well…..what if you ask for help?

NO, WAY!

They won’t do it right and then you will just have to spend more time doing it yourself. That will take up more energy and it will end up being counterproductive. So, you just do it yourself.

Every. Single. Day.

All. The. Time.

Deep down you know you can’t do it all, but you try anyway.

This leads you to feel overwhelmed, sad, depressed, and tired.

Does this sound familiar?

Perfectionism Affects Many Areas of your Life

Do you just have to take it all on and it always has to be perfect?

Either at work, at school, and/or at home?

Perhaps you feel that you must keep working all hours of the day to really stand out or you will never get that promotion you have been wanting and working so hard for.

Or maybe you have to get that “A” in advanced math class or you just won’t get into the college of your choice and then your life will just be over.

And maybe you work from home and just have to have all of the laundry done, help your children with all of their homework and projects, and be on every single school and community committee or people will just think less of you?

You are a master at taking on way too much at once and then find that you can’t keep your head above water. It’s a likely story where you are the main character in a page-turning nonfiction book called

“The Do-er.”

Even worse, than having to do it all perfectly, you hold others to the same that you have for yourself. You do this even though you can barely meet your own standards, never mind someone else meeting them.

Or you anticipate others will do it the way you would do it, (“the right way).”

Then, when they fall short of your expectations, you get upset and angry with them.

So again, you just end up doing it yourself. It’s a never-ending, vicious cycle.

This need to be perfect and do everything causes disharmony and conflict in your life as family members and colleagues get annoyed with you.

Perfectionism Doesn’t Help You Feel Perfect

You are seen as overbearing, rigid, and a “know it all.”

Or you are seen as intense and have an on and off button, but mostly you are just on.

You are exhausted, but don’t know how to fix this.

People depend on you to have all of the answers and solve all their problems.

Often you tell everyone they are wrong about you, but deep down you know that they are right.

You are perfectionistic.

Sometimes you convince yourself that you aren’t “that bad.”

You convince yourself of this because other people in your life are happy to take advantage of your kindness of you doing it all.

In fact, they are counting on you and happy to stretch you to your limits.

Do these examples of perfectionism sound familiar too?

Whether it be your boss, significant other, or family member,

they know they can count on you, any time and any place.

You are #1 on speed dial because they know you will never say no.

It feels good to be wanted and needed.

(But not at the expense of your own happiness and well-being).

You struggle between the quantity of how much you can do and

the quality in which you can do it.

You are on the verge of burnout.

In fact, you would like for someone to pass you a life preserver, but you aren’t even sure you would take it because you have grown so accustomed to feeling this way.

This feeling is oddly comforting.

But, you know that you want off of this never-ending cycle of feeling disappointed in yourself for not meeting your own expectations and you know that you need help.

Tips for Reducing Perfectionism in your Life

Set realistic goals and manage expectations for yourself and others.

Be flexible with your schedule.

Take time in between tasks. Simple breathing exercises can help reset your body and refocus your attention on new tasks.

Recognize when you have completed a task well and move on.

It’s OK to say No to others and say Yes to yourself.

Be kind to yourself and practice self-care.

Therapy for Perfectionism in Ridgewood, NJ and North Bergen, NJ Can Help

If you are ready to begin reducing perfectionism, work stress, and burnout, you’ve come to the right place. You will be working with a skilled therapist, Dr. Maria Staropoli-Hafner, who specializes in therapy for perfectionism.

To begin your therapy journey in my Ridgewood, New Jersey Therapy Practice, schedule your 20-minute free consultation and being treating your perfectionism today!

Other Therapy Services at

Total Insight Psychotherapy Services

At Total Insight, I offer many services that can help you overcome your struggles.

in my Ridgewood, New Jersey counseling office.

Other services include counseling for anxiety, therapy for perfectionism, obsessive-compulsive disorder, trichotillomania, and skin picking.